John Zorn: New Jersey Scum Swamp

According to New Jersey's Septic Management Group, which is committed to "Protecting Our Groundwater, One Septic System at a Time," the #1 cause of system failure is sticky biomat scum buildup. If accessible, this scum could be regularly removed, dramatically extending system life. "But it's not accessible. So what's a homeowner to do? Install a Septic Tank Effluent Filter!" Alas, such scientific ingenuity earns nothing but nose-thumbing from Hudson River east-bank arts snobs John Scorn and his Naked City Stooges. How easy it is to ridicule! How much harder to cherish the Garden State, one septic tank at a time.